Tattooing as a Vital Rite of Passage

Most men in this world are a bunch of sissies, and that's largely due to the breakdown of the father/son relationship. Boys have become so dependent on their mothers, their grandmothers, their sisters and aunties, that they're losing their "rites of passage", losing the defining events they should be experiencing that help create a clear line of demarcation between being a boy and becoming a man.

In a lot of cases, there's just no males around to help these boys become men. In so many families today, the men are not present, for whatever reason- prison, alcoholism, wanderlust, or a combination of the three. There's no one to tell these boys that there comes a time you just have to let go of your momma and learn how to be a fighter.

In the "old days" that we hear so much about, that time was very clearly defined for a boy- whether it was his first trip on a war party, his first hunt, or his first vision quest, there was always a time in his life he could point to and say "See? That's the day my boyhood ended, and I began walking the road to manhood."

Of course, I'm not saying that a woman's nurturing nature is a bad thing. I'm saying that too much nurturing coupled with too little male influence can create a lot of problems for a boy trying to become a man- and believe me, they ARE making an effort to become men; one of the greatest pains of boyhood is the pain of trying to grow up.

I think that the fact that men have no "rites of passage" (God, that sounds so new-age) has led to a breakdown of male independence, which leads to us resenting the women in our lives- we blame them for taking our independence. In some cases, that's true- sometimes women just don't want their "little boys" to grow up. In other cases, we gave our manhood up out of weakness. It's much more enjoyable to be mollycoddled and allowed to sleep in in the morning than it is to get up before the sun rises and go jump in an ice-cold creek, bare-ass naked, like you're supposed to.

But is it really any good for you, spiritually, physically, mentally, or emotionally, to let yourself be pampered like that? Is it good for you to give up your... your toughness, I guess?

To me, that's part of tattooing- helping young men confront pain, helping them break the ties to their parents.

When a young man sits down and gets a tattoo, he's experiencing a pain that his momma can't help him with, often for the first time. Momma can't bail him out of this, she can't sit down and get that tattoo for him- he has to do it himself, or it can't be done at all.

When he's done, he has a permanent mark, something to point to and say, "See? Today I began walking down the path that will end in manhood. I took the first step today. See? This is my record, my proof of this momentous, life-changing event."

That's my job- helping them see the road to adulthood- and I have no one to teach me how to do it. I have to figure it out myself. If I have a legacy to leave when I die, I'd like to be remembered as the person who brought tattooing back to my Indian people- not in a museum display sort of way, but as a vibrant, living, meaningful part of our culture.

And I bet ya thought I was just drawing "pretty pitchers".

Posted on Sunday May 28 2006 by Frank

Oh god, am I tired of being sick!

Like most guys, I'm a big stupid baby when I'm sick... I've been sneezing and whining all day. I hope I feel better tomorrow, the weekend is coming up and I've got work to do.

Just took some allergy pills, hope to god they work.

Posted on Wednesday May 17 2006 by Frank

Why is it every tattooist I know is getting sick?

My father, a retired tattooist, had a stroke late last year. My friend Sailor Jerry in Nova Scotia has an aneurism (blood clot in the brain), Dale up in Joplin has some as-yet-undiagnosed malady that's had him in and out of the hospital all this past week, and my buddy Jed down in Australia is recovering from a stroke.

All these guys are over 50 and none of them, as far as I know, has any medical plan or retirement program going. Is that what I have to look forward to 20 years from now- lingering illnesses that eat away at me, and no way to pay my hospital bills?

Tattooing is a great job, I love it more than any job I've ever had, but the "benefits package" really sucks. I pray those guys will be alright.

Posted on Tuesday May 09 2006 by Frank

It's rainin' like hell in Tulsa today, but we've got our snazzy new website to play with as well as a warm, dry shop to tattoo in all day... couldn't ask for more than that!

Supposed to be raining all weekend long, so if that's gonna destroy your plans for the weekend then definitely come get tattooed at the best tattoo shop in Tulsa- Lucky Lady Tattoo!!!

Posted on Friday April 28 2006 by Frank